Ice Planet
by Shiner Shining Bright
Summary: In my dream, I was trapped on a planet of Ice. Until I was saved by Tahl and Harrison Ford. Sequel to Desert Planet.


**I have the funniest dreams. It's too bad I can't remember most of them.**

The first feeling I had was a bitter cold. Something wet and fluffy. I blinked my eyes open, but it didn't help. My vision was clouded completely with white, which told me nothing. I was freezing up inside.

"Am I dead?" I managed to choke out through the chattering of my teeth. I had never been colder in my life. And as I had expected, I got no reply. If this whiteness was actually Death, Death was incredibly cold. How would I ever live an eternity here?

While overcoming overwhelming coldness, I managed to get myself up. Everywhere I looked, which wasn't very far, the whiteness of snow clouded my vision. When I looked at my unfit outfit, I noticed that I was wearing the same stuff I had been wearing to bed. With the coming of warm weather, I had begun to wear shorts and a t-shirt to bed. But if the weather was so cold here, why was I dressed this unsuitably? And how did I even get here? Simple, I was dreaming.

I was known to have pretty weird and funny dreams, but this wasn't funny. I had extreme snow-phobia, and now I was in snow-land. I remembered the books and movies where people hiked through the snow, only to find a crazy guy in a cave. And as a matter of fact, I also had extreme crazy-guy-phobia. But what if I didn't find a guy, and I was stuck in the snow wearing shorts until I froze to death?

A flash of color caught my eye. Was I going to become a crazy chick in a cave, hallucinations of friends and all that good stuff? I blinked slowly, my eyelashes growing icicles on them. Just as I had expected, only a landscape of gray and white awaited me. And I then realized that I had to find a place to lodge. Even if I would become a crazy cave lady that hunted wooly mammoths for survival, at least I wouldn't be dead. I slowly took my glasses, rubbed them with my shirt to get the fog off, and put them back on, only for them to fog up again. After that wasted bit of time, I hugged myself and began to struggle forward.

If I thought I was any good, I was 100% wrong. Wearing shorts and a t-shirt did nothing for me, and after two seconds I had fallen over forward and had a faceful of snow. I let out a short groan as I fell.

"Are you sure you saw something?" one voice yelled over the winds. I couldn't discern or pay attention to a gender. It sounded all muffled from my place in the snow.

"Totally sure. It was blue! How much blue do you get on an ice planet?" asked a second voice.

"Good point," replied the first voice. The voice was so close now. A second later and there was an animal foot pressed to my back.

"Mmph!" I yelled from the snow. Maybe they'd hear me!

"Did you hear that?" the first voice asked, suddenly perking up.

"Yeah," the second voice answered. "You get it."

A nod was probably exchanged before a heavily gloved hand picked up the back of my snow-dusted t-shirt, dragging me with it. I offered no resistance but that of gravity.

"And I thought they smelled bad on the outside," a third voice growled, and I could help but think _Harrison Ford? Oh, if he were he- _I stopped myself before I could finish that sentence. Harrison was a geezer now, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Am I dead?" I asked as soon as I woke up. It was warmer here, though it still was cold. I jumped up happily at the change of temperature, and noticed that my eyelashes hadn't defrosted, I was still wearing the same clothes, and I was in a cave. Was the crazy guy going to come for me now? Was _Harrison Ford _going to come in? Was Harrison Ford hungry? Would Harrison Ford eat me for breakfast? Wait_...what_?

"You're awake!" a hooded figure exclaimed happily. I jumped back in alarm. Was this the crazy cave person?

"Oh, sorry," they apologized after noticing my obvious alarm. The person threw off the hood of their winter jacket. A smiling face greeted me. The person had a pale, freckled face, with dirty blonde hair. I could see that the person was female. She had a nice, crazy aura about her, which made me suspicious. A lightsaber hung at the waist of her sparkling pink coat, so I could figure she was a Jedi, and I was dreaming.

"Are you a crazy cave person?" I asked immediately.

"Crazy, yes. Cave, yes. Person, yes. But I'm no crazy cave person, thank you very much!" the Jedi girl answered.

"Then who are you?"

"I'm-" she began to answer, until she was cut off by a loud cry of, "Get back here with my lightsaber and Quiggy's lock of hair, you crazy fangirl!"

"What the-" I managed to exclaim, before bursting out in laughter. A pink-clad woman stomped into the room I had woken up in. The woman didn't have a lightsaber at her waist, but she did have caramel skin and dark hair. I recognized her as Tahl, and as she stomped by, I could see upon close inspection that the pink on her jacket was just a bunch of Swarovski crystals, put together in a pattern that made it look like pink cloth.

"You can't see me!" the crazy fangirl yelled, waving a lock of hair in front of Tahl's face. She grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me behind an icy corner.

"What is that?" I asked the fangirl in a whisper, gesturing to the hair.

"A lock of Qui-Gon's hair!" the fangirl exclaimed as if it was obvious.

"Okay... Well, I'll get going now," I offered, beginning to inch away.

"I'll go with you. You can't be outside of the middle room without a jacket!" the fangirl offered in reply. She grabbed me by the elbow and dragged me to a room filled with pink jackets in many different sizes.

"Take one," the fangirl told me, motioning to all the jackets.

"Why are they all pink?" I inquired.

"Because fangirl over here got out her super-Bedazzler and turned our good, camouflaged jackets pink!" a female voice yelled from the other side of a closed door.

"White is an ugly color!" replied the fangirl in a yell. Meanwhile, I meekly took a jacket and put it on. It felt a little ridiculous to be wearing a pink coat over my pajamas, but it would have to do.

"Well, let's go in."

I was dismayed to see that Harrison Ford wasn't in the room. But what was in the room was very dark. The snow's whiteness provided no natural light, so all the light was reflected off of a disco ball that hung from the ceiling in the middle of the room. As strobe lights flickered and scanned the room, I could see other people in bedazzled coats, dancing to disco music. Mace Windu was dancing with another broad-shouldered Jedi girl that had broad shoulders, Yoda and Cin Draillg were doing the moonwalk in synch, while Tahl had managed to reappear, and was dancing with Qui-Gon Jinn. The fangirl laid eyes on the coat-clad Jedi man and immediately rushed over to him.

The dancing hadn't been going on for five minutes before an explosion rocked the dance club. The strobe lights turned on permanently and the lights came up, only to depict a scene only I could dream up. Tahl, Cin, the fangirl, and Qui-Gon had landed in a heap, while Yoda had been thrown against the wall, along with the broad-shouldered lady. I couldn't see Mace in the mess until I saw the disco ball.

The disco ball had been neatly lodged around Mace Windu's head, so that his bald head had penetrated only a small part of the ball. The ball now formed a neat helmet for the bald Jedi Master. And he wasn't enjoying it one bit.

"Get this mother-kriffing ball off my mother-kriffing head!" Mace exclaimed, and everyone gasped at his clear use of profanity. The broad-shouldered girl ran to pull the ball off Mace's head, but the plastic-on-plastic noise gave away her position and caused another explosion.

"Attack!" roared a powerful voice. Loud blaster noise instantly began, which was cut off by another roar, a closer one.

"NO!" Qui-Gon roared, and bared his muscles. His pink jacket ripped in two, falling neatly on both sides of him. Within a couple of moments, Qui-Gon had grown a humongous six-pack, and his biceps were two fist-lengths long. He ran forward in the direction of the enemy's voice with inhuman strength and ferocity, and Tahl and the fangirl could only stare after him. Although Tahl wasn't even seeing anything, she and the fangirl were absorbing the Qui-Gon's buffness radiation. Instantly, Tahl and the fangirl exploded into a million little pieces.

"YAAAAAA!" a female voice roared, diving through the madness. She grabbed hold of Qui-Gon and all his buffness, and came to land right in front of Mace Windu. She dropped Qui-gon, turned around, and shot green and blue bolts of power back in the direction she came. Within a couple of moments, the enemy was gone.

"Oh, goodness!" Cin exclaimed in a rather girly tone. "Thank you for saving us! How may I ever repay you?"

"Well," the female voice began, and threw down her hood. She was the only one not wearing pink, and her face was hard to describe. She was obviously female, though. "You can marry me."

"Name?" Yoda inquired simply, getting up from the rubble.

"Her Majesty, Mrs. Xaja Draillg, official Cin Draillg fangirl for life."

"Another fangirl?" Qui-Gon exclaimed with dismay.

"Quiet, buff boy! You're ruining my only chance with one fangirl. Is one fangirl too much to ask?" Cin snapped. "I'm glad to meet you, Xaja."

Then some salsa music began and everyone began to dance. Mace danced with his broad-shouldered girlfriend, Cin happily danced with Xaja, Qui-Gon began to piece together the fangirl and Tahl, while Yoda and I did the moonwalk in synch with the salsa music.

**What's with the salsa, you ask? Or the bedazzler? My answer: I have absolutely no idea. XD**


End file.
